Divorce in New York is two things at once: the end of a marriage, and a financial and legal restructuring of your life. The emotional part is yours. The legal part — grounds, filing, disclosure, custody, property, support — runs on rules that are specific to New York State and to the courts here in Erie County.
This guide walks through the whole process: what you have to prove, what you have to file, how long it takes, what it costs, and where a lawyer actually changes the outcome rather than just the invoice. It is general information about how divorce works in New York, not legal advice about your situation.
Before you file: residency and the basic requirements
New York will not hear a divorce unless the case has a real connection to the state. In practice, most Buffalo filings satisfy one of these: either both spouses live in New York and the grounds arose here, or one spouse has lived in the state continuously for at least two years before filing. There are shorter one-year routes — for example, if you were married in New York, or lived here as a married couple, and one spouse still resides here.
Getting this wrong is one of the few mistakes that can undo everything. A petition filed without meeting the residency requirement can be dismissed after months of work, and you start again. It is the first thing a lawyer checks and the first thing self-filers overlook.
Grounds for divorce in New York
New York recognised no-fault divorce relatively late, in 2010. Today the overwhelming majority of cases use it.
No-fault
One spouse states under oath that the marriage has been irretrievably broken for at least six months. You do not need your spouse to agree that the marriage is over. What you do need, before the judgment is signed, is a resolution of every economic issue — property, debt, custody, support. No-fault removes the need to prove blame; it does not remove the need to settle.
Fault-based
The fault grounds still exist: cruel and inhuman treatment, abandonment for a continuous year or more, imprisonment for three or more consecutive years, and adultery. They are now rarely used, because proving them adds cost and time without usually changing how property is divided. New York courts do not generally punish marital misconduct in the property split. Where fault still matters is in narrower situations — for instance, conduct that affects a child’s safety, or one spouse dissipating marital assets.
Which kind of divorce is yours?
How much legal help you need depends almost entirely on this question.
- Uncontested. You agree on everything: property, debt, custody, parenting time, support. Fastest and cheapest route. Still requires a properly drafted settlement agreement — an agreement that is vague about pensions or the marital home creates litigation years later.
- Contested. You disagree on one or more issues. Most contested cases settle before trial, but they settle on the strength of the preparation behind them.
- High-asset. Business interests, professional practices, deferred compensation, multiple properties, or retirement accounts that need valuing and dividing. These turn on financial expertise as much as legal argument — we cover them in more depth in our guide to dividing complex marital estates.
- Custody-driven. The money is straightforward but the parenting arrangement is not. These are decided on a different standard entirely, discussed below.
If you are not sure which describes you, the practical difference between the first two is explained in detail in our breakdown of how contested and uncontested cases actually differ.
The filing process, step by step
1. File the summons
The plaintiff files a Summons with Notice or a Summons and Verified Complaint with the County Clerk and buys an index number. In Erie County this is filed in Supreme Court. The index number is what the case is tracked under from then on.
2. Serve your spouse
Service must be personal — someone over 18 who is not you hands the papers to your spouse — and must happen within 120 days of filing. Defective service is a common reason cases stall at the start.
3. Your spouse responds
The defendant has 20 days to respond if served in New York, 30 if served elsewhere. No response within that window can lead to a default, and the case proceeds without their input on terms.
4. Financial disclosure
Both sides exchange sworn Statements of Net Worth with supporting documents — tax returns, pay stubs, account statements, debts, monthly expenses. This is the foundation of every financial decision that follows. Understating assets here is the single most damaging thing a spouse can do to their own case; when it surfaces, it costs them credibility on every other issue.
5. Negotiation, motions, or trial
Most cases resolve here, through negotiation between attorneys, mediation, or a court-supervised conference. Temporary orders may be issued to cover support, custody or occupancy of the home while the case runs. A small minority go to trial.
6. Judgment of divorce
A judge signs the Judgment of Divorce and it is entered with the County Clerk. Only then is the marriage legally ended. Uncontested cases in Erie County commonly run about three to six months from filing to judgment; contested cases with genuine disputes often run a year or more.
How to choose a divorce lawyer in Buffalo
The person you hire shapes the outcome more than almost any other decision you make. Work through these in order.
- Define your case first. A straightforward uncontested split and a contested case with a business to value need different lawyers. Know which you have before you shop.
- Check that family law is their actual practice. Not one of eight advertised areas. Ask what share of their caseload is matrimonial work.
- Prioritise local court experience. A lawyer who appears regularly before Erie County judges knows how individual judges handle custody disputes, valuation and adjournments. That knowledge is not transferable from another county.
- Test how they communicate. In the consultation, do they explain the law in terms you follow, or bury you in jargon? You will be receiving hard news from this person for months.
- Ask for their strategy, not a promise. A competent lawyer will describe an approach and its risks. Anyone guaranteeing a specific custody or financial result is telling you what you want to hear.
- Get the fee structure in writing. Retainer amount, hourly rate, who else bills to your file and at what rate, what happens to the unused retainer. New York requires a written retainer agreement in matrimonial cases — read it.
- Read reviews for pattern, not for score. One angry review means little. Six reviews all saying calls were not returned means something.
- Consult more than one. Two or three consultations cost you an afternoon and reveal an enormous amount about the range of approaches available.
- Ask who actually handles your file. Many firms sell you the senior partner and assign the work to an associate. That can be perfectly fine — but you should know before you sign.
- Confirm capacity. A lawyer carrying too many trials will not be responsive when your temporary order is contested.
Bring written questions to each meeting. We keep a working list of what to ask a divorce attorney before you retain them, and if you would rather start from a shortlist, our ranked roundup of Buffalo divorce firms is a reasonable place to begin.
Warning signs when hiring
- Guaranteeing an outcome. No lawyer controls a judge.
- Pushing you toward litigation before understanding whether the case can settle.
- Vague or verbal fee terms.
- Encouraging you to hide assets or income. This is the advice that ends cases badly and can expose you to sanctions.
- Treating your goals as an obstacle. Wanting to preserve a co-parenting relationship is a legitimate instruction, not weakness.
- No written communication protocol — who you contact, and expected response time.
How a lawyer builds your case
Strategy in a divorce is not aggression. It is sequencing — knowing which issues to concede early to gain leverage on the ones that matter to you.
A well-run case starts with a full evaluation: assets, debts, income, custody exposure, and the realistic range of outcomes. From there your lawyer sets priorities with you. Almost nobody wins on every issue. Deciding in advance that the marital home matters more than the retirement account — or the reverse — is what makes negotiation possible.
The rest is evidence and anticipation. Financial records, communications, valuations and, where children are involved, documentation of actual caregiving. A prepared lawyer also works out what the other side will argue and tests your position against it before a judge does. Cases are usually lost on the facts nobody prepared for.
Custody and child support
New York decides custody on the best interests of the child. There is no presumption favouring mothers or fathers. Courts weigh stability, each parent’s involvement in daily care, the home environment, each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs, willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent, and — depending on age and maturity — the child’s own preference.
Custody has two parts that people often conflate: legal custody, meaning decision-making about schooling, medical care and religion, and physical custody, meaning where the child lives. Joint legal custody with a primary residential parent is a common arrangement.
Child support follows the Child Support Standards Act, which applies percentages to combined parental income — 17% for one child, 25% for two, 29% for three, 31% for four, and no less than 35% for five or more — allocated between parents in proportion to income, with add-ons for childcare, health insurance and unreimbursed medical costs. Courts can deviate from the formula, but they must explain why.
For the practical side of building a parenting case, see our guidance on preparing for a custody determination, or speak to our team about custody representation and support and maintenance.
Dividing property
New York is an equitable distribution state. Marital property is divided fairly — which is not the same as equally. A judge weighs the length of the marriage, each spouse’s income and property at the time of marriage and at filing, the loss of inheritance or pension rights, direct and indirect contributions including homemaking and supporting the other’s career, and the future financial circumstances of each party.
Marital property generally means anything acquired during the marriage regardless of whose name is on it. Separate property — assets owned before the marriage, inheritances, personal injury compensation, and gifts from third parties — normally stays with its owner. The complication is commingling: separate property mixed into joint accounts, or a pre-marital home whose mortgage was paid with marital income, can lose part of its separate character.
Our detailed walkthrough of how marital assets get valued and split goes further, and the firm handles property division matters directly.
Spousal maintenance
New York uses a statutory formula to calculate temporary maintenance during the case and post-divorce maintenance after it, applied to income up to a cap that is adjusted periodically. Duration is guided by the length of the marriage. Courts can adjust the guideline figure where it would be unjust, considering health, earning capacity, the standard of living during the marriage, and whether one spouse gave up career progression for the family.
If you are weighing separation instead of divorce, the financial consequences differ in ways worth understanding first — we compare them in separation and divorce, side by side.
What it costs
An uncontested divorce with a straightforward agreement is the least expensive path — court filing fees plus a limited number of attorney hours. Contested matters cost more, and the driver is almost never the hourly rate. It is the number of disputed issues and how long they stay disputed. Two spouses arguing over a single retirement account for eight months will spend more than a couple with a larger estate who settle in six weeks.
Expert costs — business valuators, forensic accountants, custody evaluators — are separate from legal fees and can be significant in complex cases. Our breakdown of what a Buffalo divorce actually costs sets out the realistic ranges.
Mediation or litigation?
Mediation puts a neutral third party between you to help reach agreement. It is generally faster, cheaper and less damaging to a co-parenting relationship, and it keeps the decisions with you rather than a judge. It works when both spouses will disclose finances honestly and neither holds significant power over the other.
It is the wrong tool where there is a history of abuse or coercive control, where one spouse is concealing assets, or where there is a serious imbalance in financial knowledge. Those cases need the disclosure powers that litigation provides. We compare the two routes honestly in choosing between mediation and court, and the firm offers divorce mediation where it fits.
Mistakes that cost people money
- Moving out of the marital home without advice about how it affects custody and occupancy.
- Agreeing to terms informally, before disclosure is complete.
- Posting about the case, the children or new relationships on social media.
- Hiding income or accounts.
- Taking the house without modelling whether you can carry it alone.
- Ignoring the tax treatment of what you are dividing — a dollar in a retirement account is not a dollar in cash.
- Using the children to carry messages.
We go through the expensive ones in detail in the errors that make a divorce more expensive than it needed to be.
After the judgment
A signed judgment is not quite the end. Retirement accounts usually need a separate Qualified Domestic Relations Order before they can be divided. Deeds, titles, beneficiary designations on life insurance and pensions, and wills all need updating. Custody and support orders can be modified later on a substantial change in circumstances — a relocation, a job loss, a change in the child’s needs.
Frequently asked questions
How long does a divorce take in Buffalo?
An uncontested divorce commonly takes about three to six months from filing to judgment, depending on court backlog. Contested cases typically run a year or longer, and the timeline is driven by how many issues stay in dispute.
Do I need my spouse to agree to the divorce?
No. Under no-fault grounds, one spouse’s sworn statement that the marriage has been irretrievably broken for at least six months is sufficient. Your spouse can contest the financial and custody terms, but they cannot force the marriage to continue.
Is everything split 50/50?
No. New York divides marital property equitably, meaning fairly in light of the circumstances. That is often close to equal in a long marriage with similar contributions, but courts routinely depart from an even split where the facts justify it.
Can I file without a lawyer?
You can, and for a genuinely uncontested divorce with no children, no property and no support claim, some people do. The risk is not the filing — it is the settlement agreement. Terms that are unclear about pensions, the marital home or future support are difficult and expensive to fix afterwards.
Does adultery affect the financial outcome?
Usually not. New York courts do not generally adjust property division to punish marital misconduct. It can become relevant if marital funds were spent on the affair, which is treated as dissipation of assets.
Talk to someone about your case
Every divorce turns on its own facts, and general guidance only takes you so far. If you want to know where you actually stand, our team handles uncontested divorces, contested matters, and everything that follows from them across Buffalo and Erie County. Get in touch for a consultation.